Fine, But Maybe Not Fine At All
by destination-central-perk
Summary: Set at Shell Cottage.  She's trying to convince everyone that she's fine.  But what happens when she finally realizes that she's not. oneshot.  Also, I don't own any of what's familiar, obviously.  Mostly Hr but hints at R/Hr.


**A/N: Seriously, I don't know why these two bother me so late at night. Do they realize that I have another story that I haven't updated in forever, not to mention a shitload of homework?**

**Oh well. I don't really mind. **

**I actually tried to change my style of writing and try third person but for some reason I just couldn't get into it so I changed it back to first person and I got it out so much easier and faster. Strange. **

**Enjoy!**

I'm fine.

I kept repeating it over in my head while I was washing dishes at Shell Cottage. I felt the need to repay Fleur for helping me recover and wasting all of those potions on me when they never even worked. As I put one of the dishes away, I caught a glimpse of the red, puffy skin on my left arm.

'Mudblood'.

It would be a forever reminder as to what I am. A filthy mudblood. It had never truly bothered me until now. Sure, Malfoy used it against me all the time at school but this was so much worse. This was a part of me and I could never get rid of it. I couldn't for one day, just pretend that I was somewhat normal, respected even.

I stood at the sink for a few minutes, staring out the window. It was so beautiful here. The water was crashing down on the sand. Even the smell was wonderful. I honestly never wanted to leave, but knew that we would return to our mission in a few days.

As I turned back to the dishes, I heard someone come up behind me.

"Hermione, you know you don't have to do that. You should go upstairs and rest." I knew he was just being nice, but couldn't he see? I'm fine.

"I'm fine, Ronald." I stopped my hands for a moment and waited for his reaction.

"Even so, you should take it easy." Lately my temper started to easily flare at the worst moments. I turned around with the plate in my hand, water and soap dripping onto the floor. There stood my two best friends.

"Will you please tell him that I'm fine and that I don't need to be babied?" I asked Harry.

"Well, Hermione, I sort of agree with him on this. The fact that you're doing the dishes the muggle way is even worse. It's only been two-."

"I know how long it's been. You don't need to keep telling me. Now if you would please just leave me be."

"Please Hermione-."

"No Ron! I'm fine." In the heat of my anger I dropped the plate. Immediately embarrassed, I leaned down to clean to pick it up, but Ron got there first.

"Ron, I have it. I've got it. Ron! I have it!" I kept trying to clean up the pieces but he wasn't having it, obviously. He cleaned everything up and then started to pull me towards the door.

"What are you doing?" I tried to fight him, but he didn't let up. I looked up at Harry for help, but he just shrugged and gave me a sad smile.

"Ronald where are you taking me?"

"For a walk." He said calmly. I finally let him lead me over to a dry spot on the sand. It was still a bit chilly out from winter but for right now it was tolerable. He made me sit down and he followed suit shortly after.

"What do you want?"

"You know I'm here for you right? If you need to talk or not."

"Thank you for your concern Ronald, but I'm-."

"Fine. Yea I got that. But if you figure out that you're not, then you know where I'll be." We sat there for a few moments just staring out at the water. The sound of the waves crashing was incredibly soothing.

"I should probably get back to the dishes."

"Right." He nodded. I stood up and returned to the kitchen, but didn't resume with dishes. Instead I watched Ron, looking out into the horizon. When I saw him finally move to get up, I returned to the dishes.

As night approached, I said my goodnights to everyone and headed up to my room. I found Luna sitting on her bed on the other side of the small room.

"What are you nightmares about?" Her abruptness made me look at her with surprise. My mouth hung open while my eyes went wide.

"I don't have nightmares." I knew I was lying, but of course I didn't want to talk about them. They were too horrible.

"Nightmares are funny, don't you think?" I sat down on my bed facing her.

"Not particularly, no."

"I mean, there what are minds make up. You would think that we would have happy dreams every night."

"I suppose that could be true. But I'm not having nightmares." Complete denial.

"It's ok if you have them. I guess, for you, it's your way of coping. I hear you when you wake up." That was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

"I'm sorry, Luna."

"No worries." She smiled at me.

"I suppose we should get some rest, yea?" She nodded at me and crawled under the covers. I mimicked her actions and layed in bed just thinking about that night before I fell into a restless sleep.

"_Please! I didn't take anything!" I was back there. She was over me, carving that horrible word into my arm. Little did I know that the true pain was yet to come._

"_Likely story. CRUCIO!" I screamed until my throat couldn't take anymore. I felt like my insides were being ripped out of me. When the curse was lifted, I saw her walk around me, eyeing me like a vulture would stalk its prey before the kill. I knew I was going to die._

"_How would you like it if I brought your boyfriend up here and have him witness this?" She smiled at me._

"_No! Please, no!" I couldn't have him up here. I don't want him to see me like this._

"_I actually think that that's a brilliant idea."_

"_NO!"_

"Hermione wake up!" I jolted awake, looking into the scared eyes of Luna.

"Do you want me to do something?"

"Ron." I managed to choke out.

"Sorry?"

"Get Ron." She ran out of the room_. _I brought my knees up to my chest and tried to even out my breathing. I soon heard footsteps running towards my room and the door burst open. I didn't look up. I didn't need to.

"Hermione?" But at the sound of his voice, I did. Tears were already flowing down my cheeks.

"I don't think I'm fine." Sobs escaped me, as I finally let the past days events catch up with me.

He came over and sat on my bed. I crawled over to him and cried into his chest. I latched onto his shirt and I didn't want to let go.

"I know. But you'll get through this, you'll see. I'm never leaving you again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

For the rest of the night he just held me while I cried and eventually he leaned back so we were lying down and his steady heartbeat lulled me into a deep sleep with only happy dreams.

I may not be fine now, but I will be.

**A/N: Well, I hate to say it, but this might be the last HP fic I write for awhile. Frankly I'm running out of ideas and I really need to start updating my other story. Buuuuut, if you guys have any suggestions for me to write, then I'll give it whirl. But please only Ron or Hermione because I really can only write them. Or maybe Rose and Scorpius. That could be interesting, actually. Well anyways hit me up with ideas!**

**Also, did anyone watch No Strings Attached? Cause right about now I could use Ashton Kutcher bringing me cupcakes. Yea, that'd be awesome.**


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